Choosing a date, and what it quietly does to your guest list

A date is usually chosen for the venue, the season and the price, in that order. What it also does, quietly, is decide how many of your guests can actually be there, and by how much notice.

None of the following should override a date you love. It is worth knowing before you commit rather than discovering it in the replies.

The day of the week#

• Saturday. The default, the most expensive, and the highest acceptance rate. Nobody needs to book leave
• Friday. Cheaper, and most guests can manage a half day. Expect a slightly later start and a small number of declines
• Sunday. Noticeably cheaper. Guests come, but the evening ends earlier than you think, because Monday exists
• Midweek. The biggest saving and the biggest hit to attendance. Anybody travelling needs two days of leave, so plan for a lower turnout from distant guests

A midweek day is a completely reasonable choice. It just needs more notice, which means the invitation goes out earlier than the standard window in when to send your invitations.

Bank holidays and long weekends#

Tempting, because guests get an extra day. Also the weekend everybody else has booked something, flights are dearest and hotels are full.

If you choose one, send a save the date very early. This is the clearest case for one, and save the date or invitation covers when it earns its place.

The season#

Beyond the weather, the season changes the practical shape of the day.

• Summer. Highest cost, highest competition for dates, and school holidays affect families both ways
• Autumn. Increasingly popular. Good light, lower prices, and the evening arrives early enough to matter for photographs
• Winter. Cheapest, and genuinely lovely indoors. December competes with everything else in December
• Spring. Good value, and the only real risk is that the outdoor plan needs an indoor version

Dates to check before you book#

Ten minutes of checking prevents the one avoidable problem.

• School terms, if families with children are a large part of your list
• Major religious dates for anybody on your list
• Big sporting fixtures, which affect hotel prices more than attendance
• Another wedding in the same social group. Ask around before you commit
• Anniversaries within the family, both happy and otherwise

The date decides your notice period#

This is the part couples miss. The harder the date is for guests, the earlier the invitation has to go.

• Local Saturday: eight to twelve weeks is fine
• Midweek, or a long weekend: four to six months
• Requires a flight: eight to nine months, with a save the date at twelve

The full sequence is in a twelve month invitation timeline.

Then tell people quickly#

Once the date is booked, the useful thing is to get it into calendars before anything else is decided. You do not need a design, a venue photograph or final wording to tell people to keep a day free.

A save the date exists to do exactly that, and it can go out the week you book. Everything else can wait.

If the date moves#

It happens, more often than anybody admits, and the difference between a manageable change and a chaotic one is entirely about how the news travels. How to word a change of date or venue covers it.