How to send a save the date

A save the date has one job: get a date into a calendar before anything else is booked over it. That is the whole purpose, and almost every mistake with them comes from asking them to do more.

What it must contain#

• Your names
• The date, with the day of the week
• The town or city, so a guest can judge the journey
• The words "invitation to follow"

That is it. Four lines. A save the date that runs to a paragraph is an invitation that is missing information.

What it must not contain#

• A reply request. You are not asking a question yet, and asking one now means asking again later
• A time. It will change
• A dress code. Nobody is dressing yet
• Gift information. Far too early, and it reads badly
• A venue address. The town is enough, and venues fall through

Anything that might change should not be on it, because a save the date is the one document you cannot correct without it looking like a change of plan.

Who gets one#

Only people who will definitely be invited. This is the rule that catches couples out.

A save the date is a promise. Sending one to somebody who later ends up cut from the list is the single most awkward situation in the whole process, and there is no graceful way out of it.

So send them only to the names you are certain of, which for most couples means immediate family, the wedding party, and anybody travelling. The rest can wait for the invitation. Who you have to invite covers settling that list.

When to send it#

• Local day. Six to eight months, and only if the date is awkward
• Travel involved. Eight to ten months
• Abroad. Twelve months, and the day you book if you can
• Bank holiday or midweek. As early as possible, because these are the dates people book over

The full sequence, including where the invitation itself falls, is in a twelve month invitation timeline.

Do you need one at all#

Often not. If your day is local, on a Saturday, and the invitation is going out four months ahead, a save the date adds a document without adding notice.

The full argument for and against is in save the date or invitation. The short version: send one when the date is genuinely hard for guests, and skip it when it is not.

Use it to collect addresses#

The most useful thing a save the date does, and almost nobody uses it this way.

You are already messaging every guest. This is the moment to confirm how they want to be reached and who is in their household, which is the entire admin burden of the invitation solved eight months early.

While I have you, what is the best email for you both? We will send the invitation there.

Make it feel like the same wedding#

The save the date sets the expectation for the invitation. If it is a plain message and the invitation is a beautifully set card, the second one is a nice surprise. If it is the other way round, guests notice.

Using the same design for both is the easy answer, and it costs nothing digitally. Choosing an invitation design covers picking one you will still like in eight months.

The calendar entry is the point#

A save the date that gets read and not entered has failed. Whatever you send, make it easy to add to a phone calendar in one action, because that is the difference between a guest who remembers in March and one who does not.

If yours arrives as a link, that entry can come with it. If it arrives as a card, say the date twice, once in words and once in figures, and let people do the rest.