Dress code wording, and what each one actually means
Black tie, cocktail, festive, garden party. What guests hear when they read each one, and the sentence to add when the two words are not enough.
6 min read
A dress code is a kindness. Nobody enjoys being the only person in a suit, and nobody enjoys the group message asking what everyone is wearing three days beforehand. Two words on the invitation prevents both.
The trouble is that the two words mean different things to different guests, and most of them are too polite to ask. So write the code, and then write one honest sentence underneath it.
The codes, translated#
White tie#
Tailcoat and floor length gowns. Almost nobody uses this, and if you do, say so early enough for people to hire.
Black tie#
Dinner jacket and bow tie, or a long dress, or a very good jumpsuit. This is the clearest code in the language and the one guests are happiest to see, because there is nothing left to decide.
Black tie optional means half your guests will wear a dark suit. That is fine, but know that it is what you are asking for.
Formal, or cocktail#
A suit and a tie. A dress that stops at or below the knee. This is the most common wedding code and also the vaguest, so it is the one that most needs its extra sentence.
Semi formal, or smart casual#
A jacket, no tie required. Guests hear this as permission to relax and some will relax further than you meant. If the photographs matter to you, pick a firmer code.
Festive#
Cocktail, with colour. Useful in December, meaningless in June.
Garden party#
Lighter fabrics, lighter colours, and shoes that survive grass. This code is doing practical work, not aesthetic work.
Come as you are#
Only write this if you mean it completely, because somebody will take you at your word and arrive in jeans. If that is genuinely fine, this is a lovely thing to put on an invitation.
The sentence underneath#
The code sets the level. The sentence handles everything the code cannot say, and it is where the useful information actually lives.
Cocktail. The ceremony is on grass, so heels will sink.
Black tie. If hiring is not something you want to do, a dark suit is more than welcome.
Whatever you feel good in. There is no photographer and no receiving line.
Smart, and warm. The reception is in a barn and it is October in Yorkshire.
Colours#
Asking guests to avoid a colour is normal and nobody minds being told, as long as it is one instruction rather than a palette.
Please leave white to Eleanor. Everything else is yours.
Asking guests to wear a specific colour is a bigger ask and works best when it is loose. Anything green is achievable. Sage, eucalyptus or olive sends eleven people shopping.
Where to put it#
Not next to your names. The dress code is practical information and it belongs with the other practical information, near the venue, the travel note and the timings. On a card, that is the back or the foot. In a digital invitation it is a short section a guest scrolls to, which means the code can carry a whole sentence without crowding the design.
The test#
Send the code to the guest you would least like to see in the wrong thing. If they reply asking what it means, you have a code and not an instruction. Add the sentence.
