Invitation wording for a second marriage

There is an old idea that a second wedding should be modest. Fewer guests, no white, no fuss, and an invitation that does not make too much of itself.

It is worth saying plainly that this rule is gone, and that it was never much of a rule to begin with. Have the day you want. The only real difference in the wording is that you have more freedom, not less.

Host yourselves#

Most couples marrying for a second time are older, established, and paying for their own day. The wording can simply say so, and it is the cleanest opening line in the language.

Sarah Harper and Thomas Reed invite you to celebrate their marriage

Parents can still be named if you want them there, but the traditional form where a bride is given away tends to sit oddly on a second marriage, and almost nobody expects it.

Include the children properly#

If either of you has children, they are not a footnote to this day and the invitation is the first place to show it.

Sarah and Thomas, together with Emily, Jack and Rosa, invite you to celebrate the joining of their family.

That word, family, is doing the whole job. A second marriage is frequently a family being made rather than two people pairing off, and guests find that genuinely moving when it is said out loud.

If the children are old enough to be asked, ask them how they would like to be named. Some want to be listed as hosts. Some would rather not be on it at all. Both answers are fine and you only find out by asking.

You do not owe anybody an explanation#

No invitation should mention a previous marriage, a divorce, or how long you have been together. It is not information the guest needs and it changes the temperature of the document instantly.

If you feel the urge to acknowledge the road here, do it in a single warm line rather than a history.

It took us a while to find each other. We would love you there when we make it official.

Gifts#

This is the one place a second marriage genuinely does differ. Two established households do not need a third set of plates, and guests know it, so they will ask what you want.

Answer the question on the invitation and save everybody the phone call.

We have everything two homes could need. Your company is the gift. If you would like to do something anyway, we are putting anything given towards a long overdue honeymoon.

The full range of ways to phrase this, including the ones that do not read as a demand, is in how to ask for money instead of gifts.

Guest list#

Second weddings tend to be smaller, not because tradition says so but because you know exactly who you want there by now. That is a good position to be in.

The awkward questions, such as whether to invite mutual friends from a previous marriage, are worth deciding early and then not revisiting. Who you have to invite covers the general principle, which applies here with even more force: obligation is a bad reason to fill a chair.

Choose a design with confidence#

A second wedding invitation does not have to be understated. If anything, couples marrying later tend to know precisely what they like and are less swayed by what a wedding is supposed to look like.

Pick the design you would choose if nobody had ever told you what a second wedding should be. Choosing an invitation design works through the decisions in order.

Say it in your own voice#

The best second marriage invitations read as though two adults wrote them, because two adults did. Plain, warm, a little funny if that is who you are, and completely unbothered about the form.

The line by line breakdown of everything an invitation has to carry is in wedding invitation wording.